Lisa Lubin is a three-time Emmy-award-winning Television writer/producer/editor. After 15 years in Television she decided to take a sabbatical of sorts, which turned into 2+ years traveling and working her way around the world. She has written about the (mis)adventures that ensued as she traipsed around the globe on her travel blog, LL World Tour. She shares with us her experience with Reverse Culture Shock during her re-entry.

I handed over my stamp-laden, well-worn passport. The white, stocky immigration officer stamped it without much more than a precursory glance, looked up at me and said, “Welcome home.”

That was it?? I’d been out of the country for fifteen months, been to about 35 countries and that’s all I got? No red, flashing lights went off on his computer. No hour-long interrogations? There was no ‘what were your dealings in the Middle East?’ ‘Why were you in Turkey so long?’ Not even a ‘Wow, gosh, gee, 15 months is a really long time!’ Oh well. Very soon it would be like I had never even left.

We often hear about the post partum depression for women who’ve just given birth, well what if you’ve given birth to this huge trip and turned your world (pun intended) upside down by seeing the world?

You go off seeking adventure and that’s just what you get. Your daily life involves hiking mountains, trying new foods, being challenged to be understood in a world of foreign languages and turning strangers into almost immediate friends. It can be tiring and yet invigorating, but always consistently rewarding. It’s a natural high thanks to the constant newness that completely contrasts the routine drudgery of what constitutes our ‘normal life’ back home in today’s society.

There are so many, too many choices for everything. I mean it’s nice to live in a land where things are plentiful, but sometimes it seems a bit ridiculous.

I made my way to the train and into the heart of Manhattan. I was in a bit of a daze and overwhelmed. Lights flashed, diverse masses scurried about in a semi-orderly fashion on the sidewalk, and noise was all around me, noise I couldn’t drown out, because I understood it all – the ‘noise’ of English being spoken. I was home.

I was back in the land between the two shining seas, the United States. Many had warned me about the very tough re-entry after an around the world trip like I just had and that returning back to the U.S. could be the biggest culture shock of all. I think like a good (or bad) movie, I had heard so much about this ‘reverse culture shock’ that the hype was a bit more than the real deal. But I also realized that flying from London to New York made things so much easier. It was quite a seamless transition to go in between possibly the world’s two greatest, most diverse cities.

As you can presume, I had never been away this long. So I wanted to try and see things differently here in the ‘US of A.’ You can see, do, and experience just about anything and everything in London, but nevertheless, New York City was still a bit of sensory overload. There are just so many things for your brain to absorb—no wonder people are stressed. A multitude of signs are everywhere you look, telling you something: ‘Stop!’ ‘Sale, ‘Hot Pizza’, ‘Cold Drinks’, ‘Buy this’, ‘Eat here,’ ‘Walk,’ ‘Don’t Walk,’ ‘Don’t Shoot!’, ‘Run for your life,’ etc.

There are so many, too many choices for everything. I mean it’s nice to live in a land where things are plentiful, but sometimes it seems a bit ridiculous. I realized how simple my life had been for the last fifteen months. I only had a few pairs of pants to choose from each day, I had no bills to pay, and my only worries were finding a new place to stay every few weeks, booking some form of transport, and avoiding most insects. I had avoided most media while I was away. It was a really nice break from being force fed lots of information, most of which is not 100% true, and a lot of which I frankly just don’t need to know.

And then there are the stores. I went in to a drugstore (of which there are a multitude—practically one on every corner—just like the now, omnipresent Starbucks) just to buy a simple tube of toothpaste. It was intense. First I had to sort through all the brands on offer. Once I settled on one name, I had to study each package for the various differences—gel, paste, tartar control, whitening, whitening with baking soda, all natural, all chemical, 4 out of 5 dentists recommend it, with fluoride, with crystals, for sensitive gums, for gums of steel, plaque control, with scope mouthwash, minty fresh, orangey goodness, or a swirly combination of everything. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh…my brain hurt. Do we really need all this? It was so much easier in Vietnam when I’d go into a tiny shop and buy Colgate toothpaste – because that was the only choice. No unnecessary decisions. No extra brain power wasted. And clean teeth to boot.

I was also confronted with a plethora of unguents, emollients, moisturizers, creams and lotions that claimed to firm, tighten, buff, polish, darken, shine, and improve my life, or at least the life of my skin. For more than one year I had done without nearly all of this and thanks to good marketing—now I just had to have some. It was too easy to get sucked in–in fact I think they have a lotion for that–so I just had to avoid going in these stores at all.

So what happens when you return? How do you downshift back to reality? Or do you downshift at all?

They say the hardest part is returning – it’s the biggest culture shock of all – coming back home to this other reality, to boredom, to being on auto-pilot just coasting through life, to constant marketing and materialism. Don’t get me wrong, I have things and like some things, but even before traveling I never got caught up in this blitz. And, now more than ever, I see how much we are bombarded with advertising and how wasteful we are as a society in general. We buy and throw away without a second thought. From paper towels to computers…we consume and throw away, fill up our landfills, rinse and repeat.

I had felt all these aspects of the reverse culture shock – perhaps not all at once because I tried to ‘stay away’ or kept ‘going away’ even when I returned. In fact I am still living out of a bag, what’s left of my belongings are still in storage pods, and I have not completely settled down yet. Perhaps this is my way of slowly coming back to reality or never really coming back to the same reality ever again. And I am just fine with that. Life is too short to do the same thing and then die. No thanks.

Next Steps: Lisa shares tips on how to ease into the re-entry process.

And that feeling is only enhanced when you meet up with family and friends, as it may seem as if nothing has really changed with them either. But you have changed, and you’re not sure what to make of the roller coaster of emotions you’re feeling. You, my friend, are experiencing reverse culture shock.

You’ll be happy to know that you’re not alone. Just about every traveler experiences it in some variation (including our very own Sherry Ott). And although it’s not contagious, you can spread it to non-travelers. Here are some tips on how to deal with Reverse Culture Shock without spreading your anxiety, and even depression, to those around you.

MAKE IT A TWO-WAY CONVERSATION
Coming home can be a selfish act sometimes. You assume everyone wants to hear about your trip and all the exciting things you encountered. But don’t forget that they were living a life as well – make it a two-way conversation. Don’t make your friends or family members feel as if their lives are any less relevant because they didn’t travel. Remember, you used to live your life in a similar way before traveling.

One way to make this transition easier is to stay up on what they were doing while traveling. You might have kept a travel blog so that they could follow along on your every step. Yet even if they do have a personal blog, keep the dialogue open while on the road. Social networks especially make this easier than ever.

BE CAREFUL OF SHARING TOO MUCH INFORMATION TOO FAST
When someone asks you the general question “How was your trip?”, you would love to get into every detail – from the tree-climbing goats you searched out in Morocco to the baby goats you fed by bottle staying in a village in Thailand. But for the most part, you’ll find that most people ask the same few questions.

Sherry Ott found that preparing some quick answers to the questions people wanted to hear was very helpful. She even created a Reflection By Numbers list so that should could quickly reference some fun facts, like how many bodies of water she dipped her toes in (10), the number of overnight trains she took (10), and the number of photos she had taken after editing (11,868).

And be aware that others might be jealous of you. In her post on Vagabondish, “How to Survive Reverse Culture Shock”, Amanda Kendle warns:

Be careful not to drop your travel tales into too many conversations. After traveling pretty widely, I know I’m guilty of this at times, and there is a clear reaction from some people if I begin a story with “When I was on the Trans-Siberian …”, which seems like one of jealousy. Not everybody has the same opportunity as you to travel abroad, but they might want to – so be sensitive about who you discuss your experiences with.

TRY TO INTRODUCE YOUR FRIENDS TO NEW CULTURES AT HOME
Many travelers can get depressed after returning home from around-the-world travels, finding life at home less than stimulating. Matthew Kepnes put it best in his post, “The Joy of Coming Home”:

Back home, boredom can happen pretty fast if you don’t keep yourself busy. On the road you move around everyday but there is a certain static-ness that comes with being back home. Even if you keep yourself busy, returning home can be a little underwhelming sometimes.

It’s easy to start complaining to friends and family about how boring home is, but remember, they may feel as if you are calling them boring as well. And your cultural adventures don’t have to end as soon as the plane touches down on the tarmac. Seek out restaurants, events, museums and other activities in your area that can make you feel as if you are still abroad. And better yet, invite some of your friends or family along so they can get a taste of what you experienced.

David Lee has some great suggestions in his post on “How to Survive Reverse Culture Shock”:

Seek Out Activities Inspired From Abroad – Didn’t get a chance to join an ashram in India? Start taking yoga classes when you get home. Become addicted to salsa in Latin America? Do a web search for bars in your area offering salsa nights. The list is endless, from sports to spirituality, cooking to kayaking, chances are good you’ve picked up a few new interests to pursue.

David even found his own way of coping:

More than missing the experience of traveling, I missed the friends that I had made the last 6 months in Medellin. They were a mix of Colombians, Europeans, Canadians, Australians, and fellow Americans. I really enjoy the diversity of perspectives, and accents, that come with meeting people abroad. To ease the transition, my home away from home has become a popular Salsa club where there is always a heavy Latino presence, and the American women I meet have often traveled to South America.

So keep in mind that adjusting to life back home will take some time. As long as you are aware of the signs of reverse culture shock, the better prepared you will be to deal with it. And more importantly, you can prevent the spread of it to those around you.

List the countries visited on this trip…

Hmmm – this threw me a bit. Did they really want to know that I had been to 24 different countries on this trip? I used my judgment here and wrote down Singapore and Japan. I figured I could explain the rest of my passport stamps if necessary.

This was just the beginning of a long and confusing road back home after being away from the country for 16 months. Homecoming is not something to be taken for granted; sure it’s great to see family, friends, and pets again, but there are hidden landmines on settling back into your home.

One of the most disturbing realizations I made on my journey back to the US was that I was no longer a minority, specifically an ethnic minority. When I stepped off that flight and into JFK, it hit me – I was surrounded by Americans. People looked like me, talked like me, ate similar food as me, and laughed at the same jokes as me. Yet as I sat there and took everyone in, listening to their loud boisterous laughs and complaints, I realized maybe they weren’t like me – or was it that I was not like them any longer?

It was a long flight back to New York so when I stepped onto the Airtrain and left JFK airport heading into New York City towards my ‘home’ I couldn’t quite figure out why the young woman talking on her cell phone was annoying me so much. Was I just tired? Was I upset about being home? I wasn’t sure.

Later that week I experienced the same frustration at a Starbucks. Once again I sat there feeling bombarded with the excessive noise around me. I was preoccupied and annoyed with the cell phone noise and personal conversations. I thought about how loud Americans were and thought about why this was so different than Asia. Everyone in Asia had a cell phone and friends, so what was the big difference?

Then as I sipped on my tea, I had my ‘A-HA’ moment – a light bulb went off. The main reason why I didn’t remember them talking was because they weren’t speaking English. The reason why all of this cell phone and conversation noise was attacking me was because they were speaking English and I actually understood what they were saying! As I rode the subway, went to lunch, or sat in a coffee shop I felt attacked by a barrage of English; hearing everyone’s personal life, business deals, heartache, and sex life. That is America – everything laid out there for anyone to hear – or at least anyone who understands English. I can’t really say if it’s that much different than the other countries I traveled in because I never understood the background noise. There was a constant buzz, but it never fazed me while traveling. Now my personal sound space was being bombarded.

While on the road I had grown accustomed to living very simply, being different, standing out, and not understanding the noise/language around me, but now my world was turned upside down again and I was having to adjust to my own country. This is quite common for long term travelers, so finding some ways to cope with it can ease the transition back ‘home’.

Make a plan
In order to give myself a ‘game-plan’ for my re-entry into New York City (and to stop from being super depressed) I got out my laptop at 30,000 ft. between Tokyo and San Francisco and typed out a personal ‘contract’ for myself. I felt that I could utilize it to stay focused as I was going through all of the varied emotions and confusions about being back in the US. On it I included some concrete goals such as get my CELTA certification, subscribing to the NY Times to keep current on world news, and look for a teaching job abroad. I also included some ‘stretch goals’ such as write a book and have a photography exhibition with my travel photography.

Finally I listed some emotional goals so that no matter how confused or sad I was I could try to stay grounded and retain the emotional balance that I achieved on my travels. My overall goal was to treat this as a stop on my journey, and go back out and live and work abroad. This list helped me put the pieces in motion to achieve that without being overwhelmed. Whether you are looking to start a new career or go back to your old one, putting together a plan on how to achieve it is key.

Give yourself time
I had been gone for 16 months, so my first inclination was to have a huge party. I wanted to see all of my friends as well as get back in touch with everyone that I had missed or fell out of touch with. I wanted to try to plug right back in where I had left off. However there was a problem with this – I had changed and now I was looking at my country with different eyes. I needed time to process that. I made a conscience effort to try to control the shock a bit. As much as my instinct was to send out a mass email to all of my friends saying “I’m back! Let’s get together!”, I fought it off and instead started to see people slowly. I found that I needed time to digest everyone and everything again. I slowly spread out coffee dates and dinners. I made sure that I had time for myself to digest the newness.

Reflect on what you’ve learned
It’s easy to get caught up in trying to plug back into work and your social life, but don’t forget to step back and reflect on what you’ve learned from your travels. This can be crucial if you are planning on going back to work in your previous industry or corporate environment. Without a doubt you will be asked many questions about your career break during an interview so be prepared to have a well thought out answer as to why you did it and what you learned. For me, I knew I wasn’t going back to my old career, however this step was still very important to me as I sorted out my feelings on why I didn’t want to go back into corporate America.

Make it real
When I arrived back to my apartment that I sublet it was surreal to walk into my old home with everything in the same place that I left it. I wondered if life had played a cruel trick on me and that I had just imagined the last 16 months. Maybe none of it had happened. After all, everything looked the same as my old life and sounded like my old life – maybe it was my old life. Whenever I had these feelings come over me I would get out my laptop and look through my pictures from my travels in order to remind me that it was real – the last 16 months weren’t a dream. Don’t be afraid to revel in your travels and embrace the memories. Put up your pictures and your travel trinkets. When people come over it provides great conversation and allows you to enjoy your memories.

Prepare some answers
I knew I would be bombarded with questions upon my return. Everyone would want to know where my favorite country was, my favorite food, my favorite experience, my worst experience, and the list can go on and on. When you travel for a long time, it’s honestly very hard to answer questions like these. There are so many experiences and I didn’t enjoy having to reduce it down to one or two quick answers. Yet I found that this is the information that busy Americans wanted to know. Many people didn’t have time to listen to you rattle on and on about the time you took a ferry from Zanzibar to Dar es Salaam. As much as I disliked it, I developed answers for these questions just as a matter of small talk…kind of like ‘What do you think about this weather?”

These things made my re-entry easier, but it was still no cakewalk. It was a long road that took me about 3 months to adjust to. Maybe I never did adjust considering I’m now living abroad! Regardless, take your time easing back into your culture, prepare for it, and don’t forget to enjoy your accomplishment!

We’d love to hear from you!

Do you have some tips on how you handled your re-entry? Let us know! Share here.