A couple of years ago I wandered into the bus station in Vientián, Laos, and promptly hopped on the wrong bus. I eventually got to where I was going after 26 long, uncomfortable hours. For those 26 hours I was alone on a bus where not a single person spoke a word of English.

When I look back on the experience what I remember most is not the 26 hour journey, or the fact that I was completely lost and had no way to communicate with anyone. Instead, I remember how much I bonded with the people around me during that ride.

At one stop I worked up quite a sweat helping the bus driver unload several tons of tile, stowed in the underbelly of the bus (for my effort I was rewarded with a hearty pat on the back, some words of thanks, and a big bottle of ice cold water).

At four a.m. when I awoke to find the bus stopped on the side of the road, the driver asleep in his seat, I climbed off the bus and stood huddled with the only three other men who were on the bus at this hour. While they smoked cigarettes and told jokes I found myself laughing at words I did not understand, and genuinely enjoying myself.

Over the years of traveling I’ve had a lot of similar experiences – ones that have taught me that there are a lot of ways to communicate and share with others. Speaking a language is just one of these ways. Here are a few of my recommendations on how to travel, experience a culture, and bond with others, without ever speaking their language.

1. “Hello”, “Goodbye”, “Please” and “Thank you” can be learned in any language. Take 15 minutes and figure them out. Making this effort will garner respect and appreciation in almost any setting.

2. Learn about the culture before you get there. Knowing about the history, religion, cuisine, politics, customs, etc. is invaluable. Not only will you understand more about what is going on around you, you will know what behavior is appropriate, and how to act in certain settings that you will inevitably find yourself in (like being invited into someone’s home).

3. A smile is universal (except in France).

4. Meet some English speakers. It’s lucky that you speak English. The whole world is learning English, and it is pretty easy to meet people who would love to show you around their town in exchange for the opportunity to practice their English. Couchsurfing.org has made it easy to find and connect with people the world over. There are all sorts of people on Couchsurfing, many of whom just want to meet new people, grab a drink, and practice their English.

5. Learn to speak a bit of the language. OK, I know I said these were tips on how to travel without knowing the language, but depending on the length of your trip and your level of interest in the language/culture you might consider a few lessons. I have always found that the way to study a language is to find a place you really like, stop traveling, and stay there for a bit of time (whether that be two weeks or two months). You might not learn a ton of Mandarin in two weeks, but you would be amazed at how much Spanish you can learn with just a couple of weeks of instruction.

6. Eat alone, eat often, and eat on the street. Hands down my favorite part of traveling is eating. The varied cuisines of the world fascinate me (I once wrote an essay about this fascination and received a $20,000 fellowship to go explore the world’s different cuisines.), but what fascinates me even more are the interactions that take place during mealtime. If you follow this advice I guarantee that you will have all sorts of unexpected interactions, with the most unexpected of characters. And of course you will enjoy some amazingly delicious (and often very cheap) food.

7. Be fearless. Whether you speak the language or not, this should encompass all aspects of your travels. You can circumnavigate the globe in first class air-con buses or take packaged tours, but you will miss out on the opportunities and experiences that are had by deciding to, say, hitchhike across a country, or ride the chicken buses of Central America, or trek through the Himalayas. I promise you these are infinitely more rewarding experiences.

August Flanagan is the co-founder of Lenguajero.com, a free Spanish and English online language exchange community. He currently lives in Oaxaca, Mexico.

1. The Honeymoon Phase – the period in which you view every experience in the new culture in a romantic and wonderful light.
2. The Negotiation Phase – this tends to be the most common and expected phase as you start missing the creature comforts of home and may be annoyed by what used to be so “romantic”.
3. The Adjustment Phase – you’re finally starting to feel situated and the experiences you have feel “normal”.
4. Reverse Culture Shock – because this is usually the most unexpected phase, it can sometimes be the most difficult one, as you don’t expect you have to adjust to life back at home.

It’s great to have terms to identify the different emotions you may experience while traveling, but truth be told, everyone reacts to new environments and situations in very different ways and at different times.

No matter how prepared or educated you may be, culture shock can still manage to sneak up on you. But it’s still helpful to be aware of some key factors that can contribute to it.

Language Barriers – You don’t need to be fluent in the language, but it’s extremely helpful to learn a few phrases before going to a new country. It helps to break the ice and also makes the other person feel more comfortable using their English.

Pre-Conceived Notions – You may have pre-conceived ideas or notions about a destination or culture and these can easily set you up for wrong expectations. Study up on where you’re going and the people you may meet. This will be helpful in adjusting to a new environment and will also be respectful for those you will encounter. 

Reminders of Home – It’s bound to happen – little signs of home will spring up and can easily turn into big signs of homesickness. For me it’s always watching movies that feature New York City. I always find it helpful to reflect on the reasons that brought me to that time and place and realize that going home will sneak up on me way too fast.

Immersing too Fast – You may feel like “jumping right into the swing of things” is a great idea. But also remember that patience is a virtue. Easing into a culture can really help in the adjustment period.

When Michael and I decided to take our career break, he really wanted to go to Australia and New Zealand and I wanted to return to Thailand and explore Laos for the first time. By starting in the countries that were easier to assimilate to (Australia and New Zealand) it was easier to transition to Homestays and Hilltribe Treks where no one spoke English. Michael even admits that he probably wouldn’t have enjoyed communal bathing in a Hmong village or feeding baby goats in Thailand if we had started there.

Even a well-traveled person can experience culture shock. After a nine-month gap in travel, Sherry decided to volunteer in Nepal for a couple of weeks before teaching English in Vietnam. One thing she didn’t expect was the transition to be so difficult:

 “Maybe I got too cocky and thought that I was tougher than I really was [after traveling for 16-months]. Maybe I got too soft in the US where life was easy. I’m not sure what it was, but that transition left me freaking out thinking ‘What have I done?’”

Despite the abrupt transition in lifestyle, her experiences taught her that this was part of the process.

 “I reminded myself that the first few days in a new country/city were always like that – very shocking and scary. But eventually you get used to it and ease into it – you stop fighting and give into your surroundings.”

Cross-Culture Shock – An overlooked form of culture shock is of that between countries – especially if you are traveling long-term. You may get used to the culture in one country and find it hard to assimilate into your next destination. Sherry found this to be the case when traveling to Europe after months in Asia. “I just have this feeling that Asia and it’s culture got under my skin and Europe won’t live up to that. Yet I have to tell myself to stop worrying about this transition and just let it happen and enjoy it.”

One of the benefits of long-term travel is that you are open to many options. Don’t be afraid to change your plans if your heart is taking you in another direction.

You’re Home – Sick? – As mentioned above, probably the most unexpected form of culture shock is the reverse-kind. Who knew that coming home could be so disruptive? But it happens. Read more about that in Reverse Culture Shock: Homecoming.

Of course there are a number of factors that can attribute to culture shock. But whatever the circumstance, the best piece of advice is to be patient. Be patient with yourself, with the culture, and with the situation – you won’t be sorry.

We’d love to hear from you:

Do you have any tips on dealing with culture shock? Share here.

When you go out for Chinese food in the US (and I’m willing to bet, most of North America), what is the one thing that you are always guaranteed at the end of the dinner – fortune cookies. It’s a symbol of Chinese cuisine – not to mention the source of a lot of fun. However, to my astonishment I’ve been in China now for 3 weeks and I have not been served one fortune cookie. Not only do restaurants not serve them, but the Chinese people I’ve talked to have no idea what they even are! They look at me as if I have lost my mind…why on earth would anyone put paper in a cookie and bake it?

I try to explain to them that I’m not crazy and that in San Francisco they even have a factory in China Town where they manufacture fortune cookies…still a blank stare is all I get. We’ve all been duped, punk’d, cheated, lied to!!!! I can’t believe that Americans have been led to believe that fortune cookies are Chinese food, when no one in China knows what they even are! It would be akin to coming to China and seeing everyone eat with forks and spoons – as if chopsticks never existed. Rest easy…we have not been fed lies about chopsticks – they are alive and well in China – and all over Asia. I’ve even become quite adept at using them too, just the other day I learned how to twist noodles with chopsticks! But there has not been one fortune cookie sighting much to my disappointment.

We’d love to hear from you:

Did you experience culture shock and how so? Share here.